Today, I’m just not winning

Today, I hit that familiar wall — the one where no matter how hard I tried, it just doesn’t seem like enough.

I tried to respond with the right words, keep the peace, hold it all together, and meet every need. I said “yes” when I should’ve said “maybe later.” I smiled through tension. I stretched myself thin trying to make sure everyone else was alright.

And yet… someone was still upset. Someone still misunderstood. Someone still needed more than what I had to give.

That’s the part I struggle with — I want to make everyone feel seen, heard, supported. But the truth is, no matter how much heart I pour out — I will never be able to keep everybody happy.

And today, that truth landed a little harder than usual.

I just wasn’t winning today. Not by the standards I’ve quietly set for myself. The ones that say: You have to be happy. You have to be needed. You have to be the one who keeps it all steady.

But those standards are exhausting. And not to mention, unrealistic. But slowly, I’m learning they’re not the measure of my worth.

Here’s what I CAN do today:

I can acknowledge the effort I gave, even if it wasn’t perfect. I can sit with my discomfort of not being “enough” for everyone and still know I am worthy. I can find joy in my small, steady things — a kind message, a kiss from my kids, a deep breath. I can be grateful for the people who do see me, even when I’m not at my best.

Because today may not feel like a win, but it still holds moments of grace. And honestly? That’s what I want to hold onto anyways.

To anyone else feeling this way — like you’re juggling everyone’s expectations and dropping more balls than you’re catching — listen: you don’t have to keep everyone happy to be enough.

You don’t have to be everyone’s everything to be worthy.

You can just be… you. Tired, tender, trying. And that’s still beautiful.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” — Isaiah 43:1

That verse reminds me: I don’t have to prove my worth. I am already seen, chosen, and known by God. Not because I kept everything together, but because His love doesn’t depend on that.

So no, I didn’t “win” today. But I showed up with a full heart. And even in the chaos, I found gratitude. I found little flickers of joy.

And tomorrow? I try again — not to be perfect, just to be real. To be forgiving, and to acknowledge that I’m worthy.

That’s what counts.