magic, mayhem, & meaning

There’s a mom I know—I’m sure you know one like her too. Her house is tidy, her fridge is organized, and her kids always seem to have perfectly coordinated outfits. She’s calm, structured, and somehow remembers to pack snacks that don’t crumble into dust in the backpack. And honestly? I admire her. A lot. I really do.

For a while though, I thought I had to be her.

Not because she made me feel bad—but because I was comparing my behind-the-scenes to her social media highlight reel. I assumed that being a “good mom” looked like color-coded calendars, stain-free clothes, and kids who could make it through a meal without wearing ihalf of it on their shirt. I tried to match her pace, her polish, her organization.

But I’m not her. I’m me. And I’m learning that’s not only okay—it’s essential to my household.

One of the people who helped me see that was my fiancé. He reminded me and showed me that I don’t have to be the “Pinterest mom”. I just have to be the mom my kids already love and deeply cherish. That still hits me hard—and it changed me forever.

Here’s the thing: I’m not a type A mom. I’m a little more go-with-the-flow. My kids are barefoot more often. My truck has snacks in places snacks shouldn’t be. I’m the mom who sometimes forgets it’s garbage day, but always says yes to mud puddles and hiking. And even though I love the idea of being all pulled together, I’m realizing, that for me and my home, the magic happens for me in the mess and the mayhem.

Still, I struggle. I catch myself cringing when dirt gets tracked in the entryway. I feel that twinge of guilt when I see moms with pristine diaper bags and chore charts that actually work. I wonder if I’m missing something.

But then I pause and ask myself the question that’s slowly reshaping the way I parent:

“Is this dangerous, or is it just inconvenient?”

Most of the time, it’s not about safety. It’s about image. The version of motherhood I thought I had to perform to be enough.

So now I’m trying something different: I’m letting go.

Not all at once. Not perfectly. But intentionally.

I’m learning that dirt is part of discovery. That sticky hands often mean happy hearts. That chaos isn’t failure—it’s family. And I choose to measure success not by how clean the house is, but by how much laughter fills our home.

This doesn’t mean I have it all figured it out. It doesn’t mean that I never long for more structure or organization. But it does mean I’m practicing self acceptance. Something I want my kids to never struggle with! I want them to always be true to themselves and know they are loved for EXACTLY who they are.

Also, importantly, I’m not here to shame the moms who do things different than me. Some moms thrive on schedule and order. Some feel most themselves when things are neat, routines are followed, and systems work. That’s so beautiful. That’s valid. That’s a beautiful motherhood too. There are certainly aspects of my motherhood I am more “Type A” but I’m a unique combination of traits that makes me the perfect mom for my family specifically. God knew.

This journey isn’t about proving one way is better. It’s about realizing your way is enough too.

If you’re the mom who keeps things clean and color-coded—I see you. You inspire me. You are the mother your family needs and craves. The mom God made specifically for your beautiful kids.

If you’re the mom who forgets to switch the laundry—me too.

And if you’re somewhere in between, trying to figure it out as you go—you’re not alone.

I sat with a thought today, about what has helped me “save my No’s” for the important things. The mud puddles, wading into the creek, and mud pies. Those are ayes for me, I cringe for a split second but, then I started asking myself:

“Is this dangerous, or just inconvenient?”

“Is this messy… or is it meaningful?”

Because childhood is wild. It’s muddy. It’s loud and sticky and gloriously unpredictable. And best of all? Most of it is washable.

Thank you so much @faithfullyadventuring for inspiring my writing today! If any of my lovely readers need another God loving Alaskan adventure mama to tune in to, she’s your girl!