you’re more than what you have survived

Single mom. That was the only way I saw myself. The label I wore, quietly but constantly. Not out of shame—but because that role was so consuming, so defining, so all-in. It was survival, grit, sacrifice, and love tangled into long nights and early mornings, holding it all together because no one else would.

And I was proud of that. I still am. It made me the woman I am today.

What people on the outside didn’t see was the version of me that cried quietly in the bathroom after bedtime. The one who woke up every two hours, alone. The one who figured out everything—from groceries, to bills, to formula & fevers—on her own. I didn’t choose to do motherhood alone as the primary parent. But life doesn’t always ask what you’re ready for.

We’ve all heard it though, God gives his toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. He only gives you what He knows you can handle.

And since very early on in my motherhood, it was me and my child against the world. No glances across the room during a meltdown. No one else was pacing the hallway at 3 AM. No one saying, “I’ve got this, go rest.” Just me.

That kind of loneliness isn’t always visible. It’s quiet. It’s constant. It’s bone-deep. It hardened me.

I became efficient. Reliable. Tough. Because I had to be.

But now life looks different—I’m safe, supported, and in true partnership— I’ve found who I was meant to be.

I’m realizing now, I didn’t know who I was without the weight of “single mom”.

But somewhere along this journey, I started to ask…

Who am I beyond the one who makes it all work on her own?

Beyond the woman who kept showing up for her son even when she was exhausted? Beyond the mother who didn’t have a backup plan—but figured it out anyways?

Because as beautiful and powerful as that chapter was—it’s not my whole book.

It took me a while to realize I was allowed to grow beyond that story.

That I could hold deep respect for the woman who got me here—and still step into someone softer, freer, and fuller.

I didn’t have to stay in my survival mode just because it kept me safe.

Now, I’m learning to write new chapters. Ones where I get to dream again.

Where I can enjoy partnership without apologizing for my independence. Where I say yes to help without feeling like I’ve failed. Where my identity is not just what I’ve endured—but what I’m creating.

And yes, the single mom in me still shows up sometimes. She’s scrappy and resourceful and knows how to get things done.But now I also make room for joy, for softness, for ease.

For the mom who plays instead of focusing on providing.

For the woman who dances in the kitchen just because she can.

For the human, not just the hero.

You don’t have to forget where you’ve been to move forward. You just have to believe you’re allowed to grow beyond it.

You’re not “just” a single parent. You’re not “used to doing it all.”

You’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to receive. You’re allowed to evolve.

Because you are more than what you survived. You are what you’re becoming—right now.