Raising Little Giants

Let’s not sugarcoat it: raising little kids is hard. Beautiful, yes. Meaningful, absolutely. But also really, really hard. Some mornings, it feels like I’m running a marathon before I’ve had a full cup of coffee. And yet, even in the chaos—maybe especially in the chaos—I keep thinking about the kind of people I want my kids to grow into. Not just kids who can follow rules or color inside the lines, but humans who are confident, responsible, curious, full of faith, empathetic, and able to lead with kindness.

Big traits, right? But I’ve come to believe they’re grown in the little moments. Not through lectures or perfect Pinterest parenting, but through everyday stuff—how we talk, how we respond, how we live.

Here’s how I’m (imperfectly) trying to plant those seeds.

1. Confidence: Give Them Room to Struggle

Confidence doesn’t come from being told they’re amazing at everything. It comes from figuring things out—messily, awkwardly, slowly. So I try (even when it kills my efficiency) to let them do things themselves. Buttoning coats. Ordering their own food. Saying “hello” to the neighbor. I remind myself not to rush in and “fix” things right away. Letting them try—and sometimes fail—teaches them, “I can do hard things.”

Everyday tricks:

Let them pay the cashier or ask for help at the store. Celebrate effort more than results: “You worked so hard on that puzzle!” Let them overhear you talking positively about them to others.

I remember my parents making an effort to not just tell me they were proud of an “A” test score but proud of the effort and energy I put in to get there. That built a strong self confidence in me as a child.

2. Responsibility: Make It Part of Their Identity

Responsibility isn’t about chores—it’s about trust. My kids feel proud when they have real jobs that matter. Even my 4 year old gets to help clean up and set the table. I resist the urge to redo things “the right way” and instead thank them for helping. Responsibility starts small and builds from there.

Everyday tricks:

Give them a plant or have them help care for the family pet, and talk through the routine. Let them help make a grocery list or pack their own bag for outings. Use language like, “You’re someone who helps,” or “I can count on you to be a big helper.”

3. Curiosity: Be Okay With ‘I Don’t Know’

Kids are naturally curious. The challenge is not shutting it down—especially when their questions come at inopportune times. I’ve started answering more questions with “Let’s find out together,” even if that means googling why flamingos are pink or how toilets work at 8 a.m. And sometimes, I just say, “What do you think?” because their guesses are often better than the truth.

Everyday tricks:

Let them take apart broken things (flashlights, remotes) to explore. Don’t overschedule—leave time for boredom and free play.

4. Faith: Create Simple, Steady Rituals

Faith is one of those big, quiet things that grows over time. In our home, it looks like bedtime prayers, talking about gratitude, and reading stories that remind us we’re part of something bigger. Some days it feels like it’s sinking in. Other days… not so much. But the rituals create an anchor.

Everyday tricks:

End each day with one thing they’re thankful for. Say “I don’t understand it all either, but I believe…” to model humility. Celebrate moments of wonder—sunsets, ladybugs, answered prayers.

A bedtime favorite of ours lately has been the book Angela the Angel by Jeramy Collins. For my local Ketchikan kids it’s available at Silly Munchkins!

5. Empathy: Help Them See Beyond Themselves

Empathy isn’t automatic. Kids need help putting themselves in someone else’s shoes. When one of them snatches a toy, I don’t just say, “Give it back.” I ask, “How do you think he felt when you took that?” It’s slower. It takes more energy. But it’s worth it. They’re learning to look outward, to feel what others feel.

Everyday tricks:

Watch shows or read books that show diverse perspectives, then talk about them. Point out emotional cues: “He looks sad. What could we do to help?” Let them see you apologize when you mess up—it models emotional maturity.

6. Leadership: Start with Influence, Not Control

Leadership in kids doesn’t mean being the bossiest one on the playground. It means learning to make decisions, take initiative, and speak up—while also listening and lifting others. I try to give my kids chances to lead: choosing the family activity, helping each other out, being in charge of part of dinner. It’s not always pretty, but it’s practice.

As the big sister to twin brothers, my parents showed me what leadership looked like by modeling it themselves—always working as a team and stepping in to help each other without being asked. I would often think, “How can I be the best big sister?” and they would show me through their actions: staying calm, listening first, and being patient even when it wasn’t easy. My parents watched their strong willed fearless toddler in a princess crown and piggy tails and saw a leader. For that, I’m forever grateful. Watching my parents taught me what leadership is all about —it’s about showing up with kindness, support, and quiet strength.

Everyday tricks:

Ask their opinion on family decisions (within reason): “Should we walk at the lake or in the woods today?” Let them “teach” you something they know how to do. Encourage them to stand up for someone—even if it’s just telling a friend, “That wasn’t nice.”

One Last Thing (From One Tired, Hopeful Mom to Another)

This all sounds nice on paper. But in real life? It’s messy. There are tantrums. There are days when no one wants to share or be responsible or empathetic or patient. And there are days when I’m not exactly my best self either.

But I’ve realized something: kids don’t need perfect parents. They need present ones. Ones who keep showing up, who say sorry when they’re short, who laugh at the chaos, and who try again tomorrow.

Because those little seeds we’re planting? They’re growing—even if we can’t always see it yet.