The Mom in the Middle

Somewhere between the granola bars and the chicken nuggets, the nature hikes and the movie nights, the parenting books and the “I’m just winging it,” there’s me.

Maybe that’s you too.

We live in this strange space where we feel like we’re constantly choosing between two versions of motherhood. The one that’s curated, intentional, organic, and straight out of a gentle parenting podcast—and the one that’s just… well, real, messy, tired and full of figuring it out as we go.

I used to feel like I had to pick a side. Some days I still do. I feel like I am not allowed to say “we don’t do screens until after dinner” while also passing Bluey to a tired tantruming toddler on the drive home. Like I can’t serve organic blueberries and box mac and cheese on the same lunch plate. But I’ve learned that I can be both. And not just can—that it’s actually okay. It’s honest.

We read all the parenting books… and also Google “how to get a toddler to sleep.” It’s okay. Reading about parenting helps us grow. Googling in desperation means we’re still trying! Neither makes us less worthy.

And the truth is, both matter. There’s value in screen-free imagination and value in educational tech. There’s also value in breathing room for us, because moms matter too.

Most mornings, I linger. I soak in their messy hair, their goofy stories, the way they line up all their stuffed animals like the playroom is a zoo. And some days, I’m watching the clock at 4:00 p.m., wondering how many snacks one child can eat in a day and why the bedtime routine still feels like it’s three years away.

It doesn’t mean we don’t love them! It means we’re HUMAN!

Being strong doesn’t mean never bending. Sometimes it means knowing when our kids need us to carry the weight—for a minute, for a mile, for however long it takes.

And here’s the emotional truth no one talks about, the guilt. The second-guessing. The inner voice saying, “You’re not doing enough of this,” or “You’re doing too much of that.” The emotional guilt of living in this in-between space is real. Social media sells us extremes. You’re either doing everything perfectly natural and intentional—or you’re failing. At least that’s how it feels some days. The comparison game whispers that if you’re not all in on one side, you’re not doing enough.

You scroll through someone else’s forest-picnic pictures while your kid is watching a movie and drinking a juice box. Or you read a “screens are ruining your kids” article right after watching a long-distance grandparent just bond with your child over FaceTime.

It’s exhausting trying to measure up to two extremes—especially when you were never meant to live fully in either one.

So here’s what I’m learning: peace lives in the gray. There is wisdom and balance in the gray.

In the middle space. In the choices that look contradictory on the surface but are rooted in love. It’s not about picking a lane—it’s about creating your own path. A wobbly, wonderful one that fits your family, your energy, your values.

Our kids don’t need us to be perfectly curated. They need us to be present. To love hard, mess up, apologize, pivot, laugh, and keep going.

They need to see that we can care deeply about what goes into their bodies and still swing through the drive-thru for ice cream sometimes without any shame. That we can value creativity and connection and take breaks when we’re running on empty. That it’s okay to be both.

So if you’ve ever felt like you’re doing it “wrong” because you don’t fit into a clear parenting category, let me remind you: you’re not failing. You’re flexing. Adapting. Becoming. And being present. You’re showing your kids that real life isn’t black and white—it’s wonderfully, compassionately gray.

Because my kids aren’t growing up with a mom who lives by strict rules or trends—they’re growing up with a mom who adapts, who tries, who picks her battles, and who loves them enough to make both organic fruit smoothies and frozen pizza. A mom who values presence over performance.

And when that guilt starts to creep in—the kind that says, “You should be more this or less that”—I remind myself that my kids don’t need extremes. They need me. They need a mom who sometimes gets it right and sometimes doesn’t, but always shows up.

So here’s to the middle moms.

To the ones blending homemade and store-bought, educational tech and tree climbing, structure and grace.

We may not be all one thing—but we are everything our kids need.

And you are doing just fine right there in the middle.