Out of Sync but not Missing a Beat

I used to think life moved in synchronized stages—graduate, go to college, get the dream job, fall in love, big wedding, buy a house, and have kids—preferably in that order and preferably on the same timeline as as my peers. But somewhere along the way, life handed me a different script.

While friends were chasing the college social life of their dreams, I was figuring out how to juggle motherhood and personal growth.

At 23, life handed me a plot twist—single motherhood. With my blue eyed baby on my hip and more uncertainty than plans, I packed up our little life and moved us 150 miles back to my tiny island hometown. While friends were settling into post-grad life, exploring new cities, building careers, and falling in love, I was learning how to stretch a grocery budget, find childcare, and balance a 12 hour shift while potty training a 2 year old.

Some peers were backpacking across Alaska or starting their own business, and I was researching the best toddler snacks and managing some rough detours life threw my way. For a while, I questioned everything. Was I behind? Had I missed a crucial memo? Was that ever going to be part of my story too? That gnawing feeling of being “out of sync” with my generation crept in quietly but persistently.

But here’s what I’ve come to realize: different chapters don’t mean lesser stories.

One afternoon, while catching up with a friend over coffee, my baby in the front pack, she said something that stuck with me. “It’s wild—we’re living such different lives and our friendship still doesn’t miss a beat.” And she didn’t say it with judgment. It was wonder. That moment made me see the beauty in our differences. Her nine-to-five and a weekend social life was just as valid as my Saturday mornings filled with cartoons and cereal spills.

Being in a different phase doesn’t mean you’re lost; it just means you’re on your own timeline. And that timeline? It’s deeply personal.

What helps is reframing the narrative. Instead of seeing yourself as “behind” or “ahead,” think of life as a series of seasons. Some bloom with energy and exploration; others require stillness and growth. And just like the seasons, no two people experience them in quite the same way.

It also helps to be intentional about your circle. Surround yourself with people who understand that success and fulfillment aren’t one-size-fits-all. People who celebrate your milestones even if they don’t mirror their own. People who don’t just tolerate your journey, but value it.

Most of all, give yourself permission to honor where you are. Whether you’re building a career, a family, healing, starting over, or simply surviving—your chapter matters. It’s yours. No comparison required.

So, if you feel out of sync, remember: you’re not behind. You’re just in a different part of the story. And sometimes, the most beautiful plots are the ones that take a little longer to unfold.